Inside the Mind of a 600+ lb Squashing SSBBW Queen

November 5, 2021 Full Weight Life 0

I write a lot about squashing from my own perspective. By and large, it receives a lot of positive feedback. I’m not good at many things. But handling heavy women on top of me and writing vividly about the experiences are some of the things I’ve gotten pretty good at. However, it’d be nice to peek inside the minds of some of these women from time to time. What do they thing? What do they feel? Do they get scared? Do they enjoy this?

It was high time that I sat down with one of them for a candid interview. Queen Nora happily agreed to take the time to chat about what we all love – SSBBW, their weight, their power, and squashing.


Hi Nora! Thanks so much for agreeing to do this interview with me. Let’s start with an easy question. When was the first time you heard about squashing? And when did you actually get to experience putting your full weight on someone?

I heard about on fantasy feeder but never took it seriously until the owner of Full Weight Productions (you) started chatting with me. You made it feel very safe and comfy so figured why not try it out. Needless to say I really loved it!

I used to always sit on people playfully but it wasn’t intense. It was never really squashing until I met you for the first time.

Well I’m glad you felt comfortable enough with me to make your entry into the world of squashing. You were an instant hit with your beauty, size, and lack of hesitation to throw your full weight around… so thanks for trusting me and taking the leap.

Since those early days, you’ve accumulated a ton of experience. You do a lot of private sessions, we’ve done a couple of shoots with just us, and we’ve had a number of new seats get to do shoots with you, too. Have you ever accidentally squashed someone too much… given them more than they were ready for?

I sure have. When working with new guys it’s always a challenge to figure out what they can handle. There’s a lot of me and sometimes they aren’t ready for it. We all saw the video of that one guy we filmed with who couldn’t handle it at all. He panicked every 5 seconds. It got a little frustrating to have to keep getting up! I had a couple private sessions where guys were so winded that I let them use my mom’s oxygen tank to get better. And one guy had to go to the hospital for a pulled rib muscle but never anything too bad.

Wow, crazy about the oxygen tank! I’m sure a lot of people reading this would like to know more about those details. That’s something I hear often… guys wish they could be flies on the wall to witness our adventures. For the sake of time, though… let’s keep moving. What about objects? I’m sure you’ve broken some pieces of furniture in your day. What were some of the most memorable.

I broke more chairs and stools than you can count. Best memory for me was when me and Princess were both sitting on AJ on the hard board. We were bouncing and it cracked. It was scary. I thought we was gonna fall off backwards but AJ was super cool and saved us with this crazy leg move he made. I still don’t get how he saved my fall!

Props to AJ. Catching 800-900 lbs of falling women ain’t easy! I know I had a board break under Mistress Lia and Candy Crush and it, too, was scary. I somehow caught them, too. It’s one of the riskier things we do, which is why I invest in very strong wood. A lot can go wrong when those boards break!

No experiences with breaking things in public?

Ya but it’s not funny. More embarrassing. I broke the plastic chair at a Chinese restaurant. Never went there again everyone was staring.

Sorry to hear that, though I’m sure any of your fans would’ve been happy to cushion your fall! I’m sure you know this, but most of us around here find that very sexy. I know it must’ve been very embarrassing in the heat of the moment but it just goes to show how epic your power is. Thank you for sharing it with us all time and time again.

Okay… what has been your craziest squash experience so far?

Bad crazy or good crazy?

How about both?

Good crazy is I was squashing someone in my back yard. The neighbor behind us seen and asked if he could join in. He ended up being into squashing more than he thought!

Crazy bad was the one guy that slept in his car in my driveway. Was pretty much stalking me. I had to call my brother on him and then eventually the police.

Man does that bother me about the whacko who wouldn’t leave you alone. That’s precisely why I haven’t grown FWP beyond what it is. I have hundreds of guys reach out to me every single year looking to get involved. I could easily find women all over the country, hook them up with cameras, and connect both parties to make country or even worldwide content. But…

There are too many damn whacky people out there that can’t be trusted. It puts too much liability on my company. The legal exposure isn’t worth the risk. And forget about the legality of it all… I’m just not trying to expose any woman to creeps.

Now about your neighbor… that’s amazing! Lucky guy. To those fans reading this… imagine peering over your fence in your backyard and seeing a 600+ lb goddess smashing someone. What would be going through your mind?

Did your neighbor come back for more other times?

Just once. He has a big wife who’s about 300. I taught her a few things for him. Nice people.

Spreading the art of squashing! Love it.

Can you think of something you’d love to try with squashing that you’ve yet to get to experience? A position? A scene? A location?

Bath tub squashing!

Ohhhh, okay. How would you like to see that play out?

Not sure lol. Or maybe even jumping into a pool on top of someone.

A cannonball squash! Ya, that would be terrifying and exciting. I know we did a video with BigmommaKat years ago in a large tub. She was butt dropping and sitting on him while the tub was filling up. Since then we’ve had a lot of guys want to see it done in a smaller tub and let the water fill up to just below the level of his nose while he’s pinned down by a ssbbw. Scary scenario…. but maybe that’s something you could add to your list

I think if I did it it would have to be a big tub with a bar so I could get back out. Don’t want to get stuck on someone! What about a trampling tub video. That is what I had in mind.

I have seen a trampling tub video. You think you’d be able to do trampling more easily in a tub than sitting?

Not sure but definitely wanna try it!

Well hopefully we can work out the logistics at some point. My biggest fear would be you standing on a wet, slippery body and falling.

Very true didn’t think of that lol. Let’s work on trampling on dry land first since I’m much bigger now!

You have my mind racing now with tub trampling. Bare skin would be slippery. I’m thinking if the seat wore a shirt, though… you might have decent traction. It would be an incredible video. We’ll keep it on the drawing board for now!

Speaking of your increased size… what is your current weight? And for the curious folks in the room, what’s your height and shoe size also?

620 I’m 5’4 shoe size 9 wide.

Thank goodness for the wide foot! Narrower would mean more concentrated force and likely some broken ribs when trampling! Okay… so here’s one a few people were dying to know. What was the craziest request you received so far that you just couldn’t do?

I had some real crazy requests outside of squashing like a guy wanting to pretend to kill me and me playing dead. No thanks! With squashing always the one thing I turn down is licking and sexual touching.

Pretend to be killed? Uhhh, ya… that’s a little much. I’m not one to judge since I enjoy having huge women jump on me but there are lines!

And as for the sexual contact when squashing, I get that. While squashing is sexy, we don’t make it sexual around here. The sexual side of squashing is for behind closed doors. I thought for sure you were going to say the throat trampling that one guy wanted you to do was the craziest request so far.

No actually that’s not crazy to me. I wouldn’t mind it if it could be safely done.

Well since that’s the most often requested thing I get, do you think it could ever possibly be safely done?

I’m not sure but at my size probably not.

Well if you want to know it from my vantage point as a very seasoned seat… that has been our craziest request.

Lol I’m surprised cuz you done it for so long!

Ya well… there’s still a few tricks I’ve yet to pull off! So what’s your favorite way to squash a seat?

Ass drops lol! They always been my favorite bc just the fact I sink so far into someone’s body that u can feel their stomach move and then all the air exhale. Or sometimes if they are so scared it’s amazing. That’s what keeps me squashing ppl.

Epic! As a seat I can say that’s definitely one of the most exhilarating acts. To see a woman your size hovering over me knowing you’re going to splash all your weight down onto me… it’s mind blowing. That’s how I want to wrap up this interview. I want to see if we can’t get in your mind and get the squasher’s perspective. I write so much about the seat’s perspective. But what about you? Are you ever scared?

Yes, mostly about how I will get up after a fall like the video I did where I dropped and slid right off him. Or how many times I was dropping and banged into walls. But the scariest time was when I injured my knee. Till this day it still hurts. I was doing a private session on a guy. I dropped down and he lifted his knees into mine. The pain was so bad but I kept the session going and 2 days later was in the doc we with a sprained knee smh. This is why you never lift knees!

Keeping your legs flat seems so simple as a seat. It’s not. When you see 600 lbs of giant woman falling out of the sky in your direction… it’s a natural reaction to ball up! I know I’ve struggled with it myself.

It’s interesting. So most of your fear is about you falling? Do you ever have fear for the seat? Are you ever afraid of injuring him?

I only worry about sending someone to the hospital. I try to think my session thru beforehand and at beginning so I have a plan of how to keep it safe as possible. I always go slow with new guys to figure out what they can handle.

But nobody has ever had to go to the hospital yet, right?

Yes the guy I told u bout who pulled a rib muscle.

Ahh, okay. I didn’t realize it was that bad. How did the guy mess his rib up? What were you doing to him?

Just ass dropping. He asked me to jump up fully an full weight land on him.

Haha, I love how you say “just ass dropping.” As if a 600 lb woman jumping onto someone isn’t all that extreme! Was he on the mattress?

No floor.

Ahhh ok. Ya, that’ll do it. Been there. It’s high risk, high intensity for sure. But very exciting, too.

Okay, so do you think you have a pretty firm understanding of the power of your weight? Some might say someone like me who has been under every ounce of you has a better understanding of how much power your body possesses because I’ve had it push me to the brink. Do you think it’s possible for the squasher… for you… to fully “get” your power?

No I think seats that have been sat on by me understand it better than I do myself. And for sure with trampling. Those guys who can handle that get the full effect.

Makes sense. That’s part of the allure to a lot of us seats. That you don’t even understand the magnitude of power you possess. What you could do to us if you went full on squash mode without any limits.

Mhm but that’s why talking to your regular seats is good cuz they help with ideas and testing new limits.

Ahhh yes. New limits. I remember my early days where I thought a 200 lb woman would break me. Ever since I’ve been walking that fine line between growing my capacity to handle more extreme stuff and breaking myself.

Okay… so wrapping this up. This is what most people want to know. And please be descriptive as possible. What does it feel like to stand full weight on someone? Like physically? Do they look very small from up there? And what do you feel with your feet when all your weight sinks in?

U can feel their guts right under your toes. And heck no I can’t see them lol. I’m to wide to hardly see them at all.

Can you feel their ribs?

Yes but it’s like their whole chest cavity. It’s weird to feel under your toes!

Do you prefer standing on the chest or the belly?

I’m very wide so really I like having a good ratio between chest and belly otherwise I feel like I’m gonna fall. That would be very bad. For him and for me.

Do you think most guys tap before they have to? What do you think would happen if you stayed standing on them after they tapped?

I think when they’re new yes just cuz they don’t know their own stengths yet and are scared they will pass out but for guys who’s been around a lot sometimes u gotta shift on them cuz there so focused on there breathing they don’t tap lol. And I don’t know what would happen to them. Prob pass out soon.

Would you ever squash someone in public?

I would LOVE to squash someone in public place.

Finding a location is always the hard part. While it would be epic to do a shoot in a park or something like that… making adult entertainment content in a public setting is very dicey.

I’m not sure where it could be done. I just think it would be fun. I was asked before to do one in the woods. I think that would be neat. Maybe we could find some private woods to do it in.

We can certainly do some exploring! Anything else I didn’t ask you that you’d like to say to your fans?

I think one thing I would say to fans is that squasher and squashee gotta understand what each want and will do. The respect between each other is what makes a good squashing. There lots of times where ppl won’t do the session cuz they don’t think we’ll respect their boundaries. Don’t be scared guys no problem in telling us if your not comfy with something or it’s too much pressure. We’ll respect it as always fart on you later



Well thanks for your time, Nora. It was a pleasure chatting with you. I know we’re talking about getting a shoot in order soon. Maybe we can work in a bathtub scene! Always excited to work with you and see what you come up with next. Keep up the great work!

If you want to see more of Nora, be sure to give her a follow on Twitter. Her page can be found here.

If you want to see all of her clips from FWP, click here.

The post Inside the Mind of a 600+ lb Squashing SSBBW Queen appeared first on Full Weight Life.

Crazy Danger, Crazy Love

June 23, 2021 Full Weight Life 0

Most people can’t even begin to imagine the amount of suspense and fear that’s involved in this situation right here. We’re talking a real life ssbbw story here. I know you all love ssbbw stories around here. In fact, it’s always one of the top search phrases that bring visitors to the FWL website. Only here… these stories aren’t fictional. If I’m writing about it, it’s real. I’m not into the roleplaying, imaginary stuff. Not knocking anyone who is. That’s just not what we’re about around here.

So buckle up for a vivid ride into the experience of having a mega ssbbw stepping onto you for some full weight, high pressure trampling action.

You’re laying, face up, on a hard floor. Not even a carpet to offer any sort of support, let alone a cushion or mattress. You’ve had smaller women trample you on beds before. What’s crazy is… these smaller women have broken your bed during these trampling excursions. They’ve left you sore for weeks. And this amazing woman right here standing next to you… she’s twice the size!

Next to you lies a cheap, plastic step stool. On the other side of the stool is a huge woman. As round, rolly, soft, and heavy looking as they come. Curves on top of curves. Cellulite all over. Jiggles and shakes with the slightest of movements. Based solely on the size of her, you know that she could break you – kill you even – if she wanted.

It’s not that much of a stretch to say a cockroach to you is the equivalent of you to her.

Read that line twice please. Let it really sink in. You’ve stepped on bugs before, no? Think about how easily they succumb to your weight. This situation isn’t too terribly different. Except you’re the bug.

This isn’t to objectify a supersized, big, beautiful woman. It’s not about turning her into a monster. I don’t think I need to say this at all if you’re been following along around here. This is about sheer, unadulterated worship of the greatest variety. These women are breathtakingly beautiful and embedded in that beauty is a raw power that we can’t get enough of.

Seriously. She could smash you flat… like dead flat… without much effort. There she is, walking toward the stool. As she steps, you can feel the room shake. You can see her body flow as she steps. It’s such a heavenly sight… to see the magic and beauty of her body move so naturally and all over as she steps. As she lifts one foot onto the laughably small and flimsy step stool, you see that the legs of the stool bend a little. That’s only ONE leg! Holy cow.

You’re thinking to yourself…

Is that thing even going to hold her?

If it does, is she going to be able to balance on it?

I’m not even sure she can get her feet close enough together due to the girth of her thighs to get both feet on it

If she falls and lands on me, will I be okay? What would break? Would I die?

If all goes right and she successfully transfers her more-than-a-quarter-ton body onto me… can my body even tolerate her load?

If so, for how long? And what happens if she doesn’t step off when I need her to?

Where is she going to step first and how quickly can she get her weight distributed to both feet to ease the concentrated pressure of one foot?

If that first step is onto my belly… will I rupture something? Will I tear my abdominal wall? Get a hernia? Will my lower back blow a disc?

Or if it’s onto my chest, will it break? Will my sternum crack? Will her foot slip down the slope of my chest accidentally causing her 600+ lbs to come crashing onto my neck?

This is dangerous. But my god, look at this woman? She is amazing. She is gorgeous. She is everything I dream of… and more. She looks so massive from this perspective… with me on my back and her towering over me. She casts a wide shadow. Her belly hangs low enough that it’s right there in easy reach. She looks wider than I am long from down here. That is soooo much goddess. She strikes pure intimidation in me. But also respect. Adoration. Worship. And lust.

Right here. In this moment. She is everything. Literally everything. Nothing else matters. Nothing else exists. There is no time. There is nobody else. Just her.

Like a drug, I can’t get enough of the visual. Can’t get enough of the anticipation of what’s to come? Can’t kick that craving to feel the power of her body. All of the sexiness… the curves, the rolls, the warmth, the dimples, the tight fits, the jiggles, the bounces, the width, the softness… all of it. All bottled up into a singular sensation. A sensation that, again, is so damn powerful that it reduces me to the power of a bug.

There’s nothing as pure as trampling in the weight play game… if you can even call it that… a game. All of that woman. All of those curves. All of that mass. All supported on those relatively tiny feet. All of that force pushing through those tiny feet into my body. A body that’s on an unforgivingly hard bathroom floor that has zero give. Well maybe the floor boards under this hard floor are bending, too, under her weight? But my god, that’s even hotter to think about. Let’s go! Give me all that weight! Maybe it’ll be the last breath I take, but it’ll be a glorious one.

In that next moment she steps over, transferring one foot to your belly. She doesn’t step full weight. She simply places the weight of her one leg onto your belly in order to find the right spot to step fully onto. It’s here where the full understanding of her power beings to materialize. Her one leg is the equivalent of a chubby, 150 lb woman standing on your belly. It’s a lot in its own right. Does it get hotter than this? She hasn’t even stepped onto in her mind and you’re already stretched!

Before you have time to think much more, she’s stepping all of her remaining weight – hundreds of additional pounds – onto that single little foot.

You want to keep your legs flat on the floor, but you can’t. They instinctively fly up into the air.

You flex your abdominals, but her foot sinks in so deeply that you swear she’s standing directly on your spine.

You cannot tolerate it. You can feel your abdominal wall about to tear and you swear something’s about to give. A hernia. An organ. A bone.

Please… PLEASE! You think to yourself. Get that other foot up onto my chest and get your weight settled and balanced. PLEASE let me be able to handle that. PLEASE don’t misstep. But PLEASE shift some weight from my belly because it’s too much!!!

You’re grabbing with all of your might at her calf attempting to pick up and relieve some pressure. But it’s to no avail. You aren’t budging her a millimeter. Gravity wins, here. You. Your strength. Your adrenaline. They’re meaningless. It’s in this moment that you understand the power. You understand that you are 100% at the mercy of her, gravity, and the force.

It’s not even pain that you feel. It’s a degree of pressure that surpasses a threshold that’s beyond words. You’re crushed for lack of any better word, but again, not in the sense that you’re in pain. You’re drifting between shear bliss and awe and fear and concern. You’re in the in-between. In between togetherness and fractures. Between health and brokenness. Between wanting and needing. Between life and death.

Finally she gets that other foot onto your chest. All of that. All of those sensations and thoughts. All of it in a mere second or two.

I’d say it’s a sigh of relief when that other foot plants on your chest. But a sigh you do not have. You can’t breathe. Your spine is popping all over the place. The air is rushing out of your lungs even though you’re trying to conserve it. Your shoulder blades feel like they’re about to break through the floor beneath you. You’re making sounds that you couldn’t make if you tried in any other circumstance. You’re flat. And stretched to your very limit – physically and mentally.

Maybe only 5 seconds have passed. Ten if you’re lucky.

And like that, you’re tapping while trying to scream mercy.

It’s not over. She still has to shift all of her weight to a single foot in order to step down. But it no longer matters. You have zero energy. You are but a lump of bone and flesh on the floor. As she shifts the remainder of her weight back onto your belly to step down, you feel your organs bend and move as they give way. You grunt and roll to your side in the fetal position.

This is where words have no place. You can’t describe how you feel. What you’re thinking. You’re 100% wiped. Every fiber of your being went into supporting this goddess as she shared her physical power with you. All she had to do was step onto you for a handful of seconds. You had to be man enough to handle her for the brief stint of time. And you’re zapped. You gave your everything to her.

Maybe it’s adrenaline. Maybe it’s addiction. Maybe it’s lust. I don’t know. But you rejuvenate in quick order and find yourself rolling back onto your tired spine ready for round two.

It is THAT amazing.

If you’re reading this and thinking to yourself, “What the hell kind of crazy is this?” That’s cool. It’s not for you – man or woman. But please know that there are plenty of men and women who, to them, think this is an epic experience. A massive sharing of trust, power, and excitement. A rush beyond all rushes.

It’s important for me to also note that I’ve never been injured doing this. But it’s also important for me to note that I’ve been doing this a very long time. I’ve built up my strength and tolerance slowly. I’ve found my early limits through conservative practice with smaller women and padded surfaces and then worked at stretching those limits.

Maybe you can only handle 200 lbs right now. That’s okay. Meet yourself where you are. I promise that this is a trainable skill. And if you love it the same way that I do, you’ll love the process of building that skill. The idea of where it might lead is beyond exciting. Do it right and you’ll eventually meeting amazing women who want to truly test you… and you’ll be sturdy enough to allow her to give it all she has.

Don’t be a fool. Don’t rush the process. Don’t let fantasy outpace your own reality. Err on the side of caution. If not for you… err on the side of caution for her. She deserves it. She deserves confidence. While she may want to experience this with you, she does not want to injure you. Well, most don’t. I have met women who were intrigued to break ribs… and to each his/her own. But by and large, this is an intense experience that commands respect. For the act. For all parties involved. Especially her. She is a goddess. That she’s willing to share herself with you on this level. It’s magic. Special and unique beyond words. Be mindful. Put her first. Be safe.

The post Crazy Danger, Crazy Love appeared first on Full Weight Life.

My First & Only Encounter with BigmommaKat

January 29, 2020 Full Weight Life 0

Many folks assume that BigmommaKat was a model before gracing FWP with her presence. This couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, the closest she had come to doing this sort of stuff online was creating a profile on FetLife.

I receive endless inquiries about how and where I find my models. It’s amusing, as most of these inquiries are coming from men who live in the good ol’ United States of America. Ya know… the country where obesity rates are sky high and big women are everywhere. What do you mean where do I find large women? Open your damn eyes… they’re everywhere!

I know. I know. You’re knee-jerk response to that is, “Not where I live. At least not the women I meet!” Newsflash. The women I meet aren’t “into squashing.” I simply present it in a way that’s inviting and exciting. I also treat them as, ya know, interesting humans that I want to be involved with. All without even using a “dick pic.” Could you believe that!?

I kid, I kid. But there’s a lot of truth in what I’m saying, too. Most guys can’t seem to make this happen for the simple fact that they don’t know how to interact with women in a way that’s not insanely creepy. But let’s digress… as this isn’t at all what this is about. This is about the amazing BigmommaKat.

So there’s no magic bullet in terms of where I find women who are open to trying modeling. It’d be pretty epic if there was some special website where large women posted profiles about how they love squashing and are looking for willing victims. To my knowledge… that sort of thing doesn’t exist.

The truth is…

There’s no rhyme or reason to where I’ve found women who wanted to try this stuff out. Many of the platforms have come and gone. Yahoo Messenger was the best. Like… absolute best. But others have died off, too, like Myspace, AIM, etc. Today I’ll turn to platforms like Facebook, Instagram, TikToc, Feabie, and, yes…


FetLife is where I stumbled upon BigmommaKat’s profile. In fact, a loyal fan of our content saw Kat chatting on FetLife about squashing. She never had the opportunity to try it but she thought it looked fun.

What’s really cool is the fact that FetLife keeps messages indefinitely it seems. I just went back to find the original message I sent Kat 6 years ago that started what would ultimately become one of the most prolific modeling runs in FWP’s history. And also… what would ultimately be the origins of one of the greatest squashers of all time.

In full transparency, that message read:

Sorry to barge in on you, but a little birdie told me that you might be interested in squashing. While I’m sure that you’ve heard from a number of guys who are ready and willing, I’m likely the “most serious player” in the game. I was sent the conversation that you were part of that contained a link to a clips4sale store belonging to Luscious Luna, a 530 lb squash model. Not only do I manage her store… I’m also the guy in her videos. I’m the one who taught her about squashing and helped her get started with her own store. I also started my own store called Full Weight Productions which you can find here. I understand that you live quite a distance from me. Where in XXXX are you? More importantly, is this ever something that you’d consider doing? Or was this more of an “off the cuff” conversation that you really didn’t expect to gain traction? I’d love the opportunity to chat about how all of this could unfold if you’re genuinely interested.

For the record, ordinarily when I initially reach out to a woman, it’s a “cold case.” Meaning I have no idea if she’s interested in squashing. Heck, I’m not even sure if she’s ever even heard of squashing. In most cases, she hasn’t believe it or not. That’s right… most of the women who you see on FWP had no knowledge of squashing before crossing paths with me. In this case, however, obviously Kat was already warm to the idea, which made things a lot easier. In fact, her response to my initial message went as follows:

When you’re a woman of my size it’s hard to find willing partners. I’m new to the squashing/trampling scene and I really want to do it. Thing is for my first time I really want someone that can be patient, understanding, and help me learn without breaking something in the process, lol. At the same time if my victim knows what they can handle I’m all for giving it to them, lol. I hope to be given the chance one day. I live in XXXX. It would be very hard for me to travel so I need someone to come to me. Anyway love your videos and I hope the women make money with this too.

I should’ve seen the writing between the lines. When a woman her size (600+ lbs) not only talks about wanting to try squashing, but also trampling… ya know she’s going to be a killer. And we know how history played out in this case. BigmommaKat delivered some of the most bone crushing weight punishment the world has ever seen. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I was in no position to make the trek to her. She was a good 10 hour drive from me and frankly that’s just not something I’m willing to do when there are so many willing participants around me. I’m especially unwilling for an unknown, new model. For all I know she’s not going to be into it and the squashing’s going to be mild and timid making for subpar content. However, given the popularity of my website… I hear from a lot of guys who want to partake in this.

No lie… the vast majority of these guys don’t even get a reply. Their first message to me is so lame, so disrespectful, or so distasteful that it’s an instant delete. However, a few always standout and they’re treated professionally. If an opportunity arises to link them up with one of my distant models… we make it happen.

That’s where Big Boi came into the picture. He lives reasonably close to BigmommaKat. I purchased a camera and tripod for Kat and the rest is history. The quality of the videos were pretty awful but the action in those early day clips was mesmerizing. She did things to Big Boi hardly any first time squasher would do… especially one weighing well over 600 lbs!

The moment I saw this content I knew that this woman was special. She was gorgeous from head to toe. And more importantly for this particular context… she freaking brought it! Most women Kat’s size are initially afraid to really toss their weight around. Heck… many can’t even physically step up onto someone to trample for example. Yet, here she was dancing around on a guy as if he was unbreakable. I knew I had to get a shoot with her.

The Big Trip

Here’s something most don’t understand. Traveling ain’t easy for a 600 lb woman. Whatever mode of transportation you’re talking… it’s tight quarters for a big, luscious body. Especially for any meaningful periods of time. I know we get a lot of requests for our models to travel to various corners of the globe to do private sessions. Sorry… it just doesn’t work like that.

With Kat, though, she had never left her home town before. I floated the idea of paying for a trip to the Northeast to get her up here to film. It’s another reason why I have so much love for the woman. Most would have turned it down… but she leapt at the opportunity to have such an adventure.

Once I knew it was a possibility, I immediately went to the drawing board. We decided that a train would be most conducive and economical. We plotted out the trip in terms of stations and tickets. We picked out a hotel that would be proximal to the station and proper for a shoot. What’s even more exiting… we arranged for Luscious Luna to also partake in the shoot. At the time, Luna was well into the 500s and a very aggressive and mean squasher in her own right.

I couldn’t keep this to myself… so I also brought in a big fan of our work to be a second seat. I won’t lie… part of this move was about sharing the epic experience with someone who would appreciate it. But another large factor was my body. With the combined power and intensity of these two amazing women… I wasn’t confident that my body could hold up for an entire shoot. Looking back… and based on how I felt after taking half of the punishment… I was probably right. I easily could’ve ended up with some broken bones if I went into that shoot alone.

The stage was set for one of the most epic squash shoots of all time. I was excited and nervous.

Shoot Day

I won’t go into every little detail of the shoot. In fact, I simply don’t have sufficient words to adequately depict what all went on that day. To put it simply, it was a day I’ll never forget. I don’t think any of us will. Not only was it one of the most intense squashings that ever unfolded. It was also so much fun. My guts hurt something terrible… not only from getting stepped on by some massive women. But also from laughing so damn hard in between clips and as a spectator as I watched Squeaker get absolutely demolished.

Oh yeah… Squeaker. That’s what the ladies came up with as a name for our new seat. He was very tiny and made all sorts of racket while he was being smashed to smithereens. It was fitting. And I couldn’t help but to laugh at his agony as it unfolded.

Here were some of the highlights…

I did a clip with Kat sitting on me on the board. When I first felt her sit gently on me (as gently as 600+ lbs sitting on someone can be) I knew I was in some trouble. This was my first time experiencing her weight and it was challenging indeed. What I’d quickly learn, though, was that she meant business. The way she’d move, shift, and bounce… she was an utter natural at knowing exactly how much power she possessed and exactly how to use it.

Her weight completely consumed me. The board was so unforgiving and the more she dug in the more scary it was. No lie… if someone said they’d pay me $100,000 to handle her on me like this for 30 minutes with our mercy… I wouldn’t have been able to do it. Even without bouncing.

With Kat, though, it’s never enough to just press someone. She actually enjoys taking them right to the edge. What is that edge? I’m not sure because I’ve never gone beyond it. Maybe it’s passing out. Maybe it’s broken ribs. Maybe worse? In this particular case, she first took me to this edge by applying what she coined as Kat Smashes.

Holyyyyy Shit! These were absolutely devastating.

I mean… in simple terms they were butt drops. But not many women Kat’s size can jump the way she does. And when so much weight is received in such a violent manner while laying on a solid surface, the impact, rush of pressure, and resultant give in your body is inexplainable. I imagine it’s similar to how it might feel in a head on collision in a car accident. There’s THAT much force!

I’m not going to lie… and I verbalized this the day of the shoot. On her second or third Kat Smash my spine and limbs went numb. That’s when I tapped and begged for mercy. And she gave it to me. I genuinely thought I was done and was about to roll off the board. At that moment, though, she called Luna over to sit with her on me. In Kat’s mind, sitting without bouncing is easy work.

I was so deflated, so broken, so wrecked beyond words after her smashes that when she and Luna finished me off with double sitting… it was one of the most extreme situations I had ever found myself in.

I just couldn’t breathe. At all. No matter how hard I tried, my rib cage would not expand, my lungs would not inflate, and I couldn’t do a single thing. It’s in these moments that you realize that you have absolutely no control. Two huge women that weigh more than half a ton are on top of you having a blast together and you’re on the verge of dying. Your life is in their hands. It’s amazingly powerful. Terrifying. And special. I wouldn’t trade that experience for the world.

And just to share just how intense this shoot was…

When I mercy tapped from the double sitting, they listened. I got my reprieve. But Kat STILL wasn’t done with me. She wanted to stand on me in this same clip. I’m not going to lie. I genuinely believed that my ribs were going to break by not resting before having her trample me. But I was so enthralled by the intensity and experience that I just had to push that envelope. And so she did…

Not on a padded surface. Not even on a carpet. But on the tiled floor around the fireplace. Ooophhh!! Like I said, thank God I had a tag team partner to share this load on this special day. I truly believe I would’ve ended it in a hospital if I didn’t have him.

The only thing I’ll add is one other part from the shoot. It goes down as one of the best butt drop videos of all time. We slid the mattress off the frame and place it on the floor. What ensued were full leaping butt drops from these enormous women. So violent, in fact, that our spines were crushing into the floor through the mattress each time they landed.

I think to some they look more innocent than they actually were. I even remember thinking to myself, “Okay, I’m going to hold my breath in this next drop so I don’t lose it and last longer.” It wasn’t possible. They were landing with such ferocity and force that the moment they impacted, all air was forcefully evacuated from our bodies.

Yes, this 630+ lb woman’s feet are off the floor in this picture.

What was worse was the fact that after they’d land and we’d lose every ounce of air we had to keep us alive… they’d just sit there as if nothing happened. As if them jumping onto us should be normal or easy.

And if you’d tap because, ya know… oxygen… this would be their idea of a reprieve.

Uhhh, yeah. I get it. You’re leaning back a bit. But I’m still crushed!!!!

It got insane when, after some mega drops, they’d pile up on us.

It goes without saying at this point that this was a day for the record books. I’m not only thankful that we all made it out of there one one piece. Granted, Squeaker and I were bruised and battered. We could barely move for days. But my God was it worth every ounce of it. In my dreams we recreate this day in the future. I’m not sure if it’ll be with the same models. I’m not sure if it’ll be with Squeaker. I just know that I want to experience something on this level again. Or maybe even more extreme next time!

If you want to check out the promo videos from this shoot or purchase any of the clips, please check out the clip store. Your best bet would be to search for Squeaker since these are the only videos he ever appeared in.

Otherwise, please drop a comment below. What are your thoughts after reading this nonfiction story? By sharing your thoughts and partaking in the conversation, you motivate me to keep writing and keep sharing.

Until next time…

Stay Flat,


The post My First & Only Encounter with BigmommaKat appeared first on Full Weight Life.

My sole encounter with Curvy Chaleesi

July 26, 2019 Full Weight Life 0

I get a lot of emails from guys asking me how it is I go about finding so many women who are willing to try squashing. Truth be told, I’ve got no secrets. It’s not like I have a special website where a bunch of women post profiles looking for seats they can smash. And I certainly don’t have some magical sales pitch that triggers these women to want to throw their bodacious bodies onto me. I’m not really attractive myself… so it’s not like their doing this just to spend time with some “hot guy.”

I’m just real. And respectful. And I frame squashing in the most genuine way possible. I explain it and what it means to me from my heart. When you’re approaching something from a truly authentic place… there’s power there. And I think it’s partly that power that excites at least some of these women about the prospect of trying this.

Like I said… I don’t have any special websites. Modern day sites that have proven fruitful include Facebook, Tagged, Instagram, and Twitter. Back in the day Myspace and Yahoo Messenger were goldmines.

One of the many websites I frequent today is Feabie. It’s a great community that has really grown over the years (no pun intended). A number of FWP models were found there – Queen Nora, Sugar, Avery, April, and Curvy Chaleesi.

When I stumbled upon Chaleesi’s profile I was really taken back. This woman was a legit goddess. I don’t say this lightly… her beauty blew me away. She didn’t then… and she still doesn’t now…. know just how freaking stunning she is.

She was far from the largest woman I had come across. In fact, she’s one of the smaller women to work with FWP. It’s all relative, though, right? When the norm is 600-900 lbs as is the case around here… a 200 or 300 lb woman seems very tiny. But her pictures were epic. Beautiful face. Beautiful body. The total package from the physical standpoint.

Once we got to chatting, her personality matched. While I’m not in this to marry these women… the personality still matters a lot. I have to feel comfortable with them to spend this sort of intimate time with them in random hotel rooms. Are they cool? Are they intelligent? Can they hold a conversation? Is there a connection? Could I see this person being a friend? Do I trust them?

Chaleesi checked off all the boxes and so it was agreed upon… we’d do a shoot.

A short time later I found myself excitedly booking on down the Turnpike toward what was hopefully to be a safe, intense, and fun encounter. I got to the hotel first, which is always nice. It gives me the chance to get in and settled before the nervous first encounter. While I’m very “normal” and conversational, I get very nervous for those initial meetings. And there’ve been times where the models have gotten to the hotel before me and that always magnifies the awkwardness and freaks me out a bit. Future models reading this… take note! But I digress.

In this case, Chaleesi arrived 30 or so minutes after me. She knocked. This is always where my heart races the most… so much uncertainty, anticipation, worry, etc. It’s super intense. But hopefully not half as intense as the squashing that’s destined to happen in most of these situations after that nerve-racking first impression is out of the way.

When I opened the door I was literally floored. She was seriously stunning. As stunning as she was in her profile pictures… multiply that by 10. Definitely the kind of woman you’d get caught staring at if you were fortunate enough to cross paths with her in public.

And she had a fantastic presence… a grace about her if you will. She was the total package. She seemed so angelic that I actually worried she wouldn’t be good at squashing. You know the type. They say they’re willing to go hardcore with it but when it comes right down to it… they sit on you like a bump on a log. She was so pretty and seemingly so gentle that this is what I expected at first.

Boy was I wrong.

Camera, Lights, Action!

After the initial “get to know you a bit more,” I set up the cameras. Chaleesi stripped down to a thong and an epic top and let’s just say the room heated up 10 degrees. I began explaining a little about how squashing can unfold and what customers like to see. It seemed as if she didn’t really care about hearing all of that.

I’m sure I was wrong. Having gotten to know her very well over the years at this point… I’m sure she cared. But I also believe she was thinking to herself, “Yea yea… I get it. Just lay your scrawny ass on the bed so I can pulverize you.”

Oh how sexy that dichotomy is… her angelic appearance and demeanor against what I’d soon learn to be her no holds bar, crazy intense, dominant side.

The cameras were started, I was on my back staring up at the ceiling, and next thing you know this goddess was standing above me about to share her weight with me for the first time. I’m not so sure there are words I could type here to put this situation, the accompanying emotions, and the epicness into perspective.

Let’s just say it was the stuff of dreams.

Oh the anticipation.

What came next, though, had hints of nightmares, too. And that’s how the best squash encounters go. Every moment of them is amazing. But some of the moments, while amazing, are also terrifying. Some of the guys who fantasize about this while never actually playing it out in real life… they don’t understand this. “But these women are so soft and luscious. How can it be terrifying?”

Dude. Wake up. Yes. They’re sexy, soft, sensual, stunning, blah blah blah.

They’re also heavy!

And falling out of the sky onto you with total disregard for the wellbeing of your bones.

That’s precisely what Chaleesi did. Not only did she offer up some of the largest butt drops I’ve experienced. We’re talking straight up jumps with full impact landings. But she didn’t care where she landed. Sometimes she’d land straight on my belly. Other times my chest. And then, shockingly at the time, she’d also land on my throat and head.

I kept waiting for something to break! I remember thinking how lucky I was that I started out on the bed. If she had released this fury while I was on the floor… I’m totally convinced I would’ve been nursing a broken rib at best.

The epic jump…
Followed by the devastating landing after bouncing off my chest.

There’s something so crazy cool about figuring out (the hard and heavy way) that a new woman isn’t going to need to be coached. She genuinely loves to use her weight in a powerful way. And, if anything… I’m going to have to be careful to protect myself as she has her way with me.

I simply told her to go easy and get comfortable with what she can do and what I can handle. It went from 0-100 in the blink of an eye. I remember saying to make that first video about a lot of reverse chest sitting, some bouncing, and… if she was feeling up to it… maybe a drop or two. Ya know… get your feet wet.

Haha… so damn funny looking back. She must’ve thought I was a moron. And if she didn’t… in hindsight, I certainly think I was. Acting as if she needed a script. Or as if I had any chance of having guardrails up to keep me safe.

In the end, she was in control. And it’s something I’ll never forget.

She went onto decimate me on the board, stand on my throat, and push me like no other woman her size ever had before. It went down as one of my favorite shoots ever.

This left me with bloodshot eyes for two days as so much pressure was forced into my head.
It was literally impossible to breathe right here.
My point of view as she had one foot on my chest and the other on my throat.
Not all women her size has the courage to stand on a man’s throat.
Boom! This girl has no care. Straight landing full impact on my neck.
This is what she considered a break.
I think this goes down as one of the hottest pictures to ever grace FWP

Will there ever be a second encounter with this ultra goddess? Something tells me yes. We’re dear friends. And based on the audience here, I’m guessing many of you will be ecstatic to hear that she’s about 100 lbs heavier since the days of this first shoot.

And Chaleesi…

You should know that you’re legitimately the centerpiece of dreams for many, many men.

Keep being awesome.

Until next time my friends…

Go get yourself flattened!

The post My sole encounter with Curvy Chaleesi appeared first on Full Weight Life.

Being a Sofa for Avery & April

September 22, 2018 Full Weight Life 0

I’ve been trying to work with Avery for a long time. We connected on Feabie. She’s not one of those fake feedees, either. She’s legit. Very passionate about her body, her weight, food, etc. Hell… she’s passionate in general. Just a person that’s capable of making you feel alive simply by connecting with her.

Now her being a feedee doesn’t really have any bearing on this story. I’m not a feeder. Though I am excited by the idea of a woman getting heavier. That likely stems from my love of experiencing weight on me, though. To me… more weight means more power. And more power means a more intense experience with squashing.

Weight… it’s something that’s very hard to get off my mind.

I’m “that guy” who will watch for how low the shocks on a car will sink as a big woman sits her giant bottom into her seat.

And sofas! To see a woman take up more than a single cushion… and to see the entire sofa bend under her weight…

It’s magic to me.

Thankfully I don’t have to leave it all up to my imagination. I don’t have to wonder what that weight actually feels like. Is it as powerful as it looks? Can my bones support it in the same way the wood in the sofa does? Can I endure it for any length of time?

Given my line of work, I actually get to be the sofa from time to time.

And that’s exactly where this little story ended up, as evidenced by the picture above.

A Rocky Start

When I first reached out to Avery, she was excited to work with me. She didn’t have experience with squashing, but she was all about trying it. I was excited to work with her, too. To call her a goddess is an understatement of epic proportions. This girl is hot! Plus, her personality seemed so amazing in our emails and the one telephone conversation we had.

My schedule got crazy, though. I ran her through the ringer of failed shoots. Before long, she wrote me off as a flake. Months had gone by. I reached out to her to see if we could work on coordinating this long overdue shoot. She wasn’t having it. She was sick of what she considered games she assumed I was playing. I didn’t blame her for writing me off. Shit, I would have likely done the same if I were her. Even though I was beyond angry with myself for botching such a great opportunity to work with a new woman… I played it cool. I’m a patient man. Plus I genuinely respect other’s time and opinions.

A year had passed. Maybe more. I saw her profile pop up on Feabie and figured it was time to open the conversation back up.

Hey there,

I hope all is well in your world!

I know you were tired of the runaround but figured I’d drop you a line about this weekend. I have availability to shoot. If you’re open and interested in opening this conversation again… I’m here. If not, I respect that.

Take care,


I was shocked. She responded within minutes. What’s more… her response was favorable. She was down to give me a second (or maybe it was a fifth) chance.

Hell yeah, baby!

I assure you… I do feel fortunate for the position I find myself in. I don’t take this all for granted. I mean… it’s not all luck as some would have it. I am a trustworthy guy. I earn respect by way of how I treat these women. I’m straightforward and open. But at times like this… I do feel lucky, too.

Because not only did Avery agree to a shoot. She had a friend who wanted to do it as well. All that I knew was her friend, April, was smaller. And that’s okay. Small can still be epically fun. And it’s not like she was skinny. She was over 200 lbs. That’s about all I knew.

And so… the shoot was scheduled for the upcoming weekend. She picked the hotel. It was a mere 20 minutes from my home. Things seemed to be working out wonderfully.

That First Impression Though

I have a bit of anxiety. I’ve been doing this a long time. It’s a nervewracking experience, really. I mean, here I am driving to a random hotel. To meet women I do not know. Part of me feels as if I’m doing something wrong. Plus, you never truly know what or who you’re dealing with on the ‘net. For all I know, I can be walking into an ambush. They know I’m bringing money. Camera equipment. Probably a computer. It’d be a lucrative hit.

Now if you’re reading this and you’re getting any ideas… let’s not forget a couple of things.

  1. I have a permit to carry.
  2. I’m stronger than I look. I mean, let’s think it through… part of my living is having half a ton jump around on me.
  3. I will beat your ass. Straight up. Of course, I’m not talking about beating a woman. I’d never lay my hands on a woman like that. But if any guys ever planned on setting me up. Yeah… don’t.

Back to our regularly scheduled programming.

So yeah… I’m anxious. To be honest, it’s not so much fear of getting ambushed. It’s more of the unknown. I’m a bit of an introvert. Meeting new people in general in anxiety-inducing for me. Even though I love it… it stirs up nerves. Especially in this context.

Finally we were at that moment. Avery texted that she’s here.

What room number?


You sure it’s 324? I’m not seeing it.

It’s down the one side hall. Here… let me come out. Can you hear my door opening?

No! Are you sure you’re at the right hotel?

Right hotel? You’re the one that picked the hotel. I just put it in my GPS and drove here.

Shit! We are at the wrong hotel. Sorry! We’ll be there in 15.

Ahhhhhh!!!!!!! The suspense is killing me at this point. I spend the extra time inflating some beach balls that would later meet their demise under the luscious asses of two amazing women. It helped pass the time.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later there’s a knock on my door.

Avery walked in first. I could tell from her profile pictures on Feabie that she was a good looking woman. But wow. She was genuinely gorgeous. Far prettier than her pictures indicated… and that didn’t seem possible. She’s the real epitome of what it means to be a supersized goddess.  She oozed energy, too. Every fiber of her being was infectious.

Behind her walked the “wild card,” April. I didn’t really know what to expect. I’ll be frank here. I knew Avery would be great… so any sidekick would do. Even if she was subpar for this line of work… it didn’t quite matter.

Let me tell you something right here.

April was fucking hot! Like straight up stunning. Her face. Her frame. Her smile. Her curves. Her personality. All of it… a total package of beauty and sexiness. The best part is… I truly don’t believe that she realizes how special she is. This woman deserves the world and more. She’s no sidekick… that’s for sure. She could model for me solo any day of the week.

At this point, my nerves were transforming into excitement. I wanted to get this shoot rolling right freaking now. All I’m thinking at this point is, “Let’s make magic for FWP.”

The First Experience

Here’s a part of FWP that I think is very cool. The vast majority of women who premier on FWP have absolutely zero experience with squashing. None. Zero. Nill. Nada. I’ve worked with some women who are true, seasoned doms with their weight.  That’s cool and all. Trust me… I know the magic behind a woman who knows how to use her weight and enjoys the power of it all. But there’s also something special about experiencing this with a woman for the first time.

Typically they feel like they’re too heavy to throw their full weight around like this. They’re worried about hurting me. They’re guarded about the power of their weight.

Watching these shackles break away as they dip their toes into the world of squashing is amazing. I find that many women actually gain confidence in doing this. I’ve been told by some of the women I’ve worked with that it’s liberating. It’s the first time they’ve gotten to experience a man actually worshipping their weight. Something that they’ve generally hidden from men in the past. It’s an eye-opening experience for them.

I can’t say how this initial experience was for Avery and April. At least not from their perspective. I think Avery was more rearing to go than April. She’s just more outgoing in general I think… and so she was more receptive to letting her weight fly. April is a little more reserved. However, she quickly found her groove.

Back to being a sofa.

We agreed to start on the sofa in this nice hotel room. Something about jumping right into squashing on the floor, the hard board, trampling, or things of this nature seems wrong. Why go from 0 to 100 with a woman who is on edge about this experience. Let her find her footing. Let her gain a little confidence with less intense sitting.

Becoming a human sofa is the perfect springboard for a woman who’s trying squashing for the first time.

Avery started.

ssbbw avery about to sit down onto me

Sometimes guys ask me what it’s like.

Looking up at a woman like this knowing that she’s about to unleash her full weight on my much smaller body. There are no words that can do it justice. How can you explain one of the greatest experiences in the universe with words? It’s just that. An experience. It has to be EXPERIENCED.

Again, though… looking up at all of that knowing what’s about to happen is out of this world.

And so she sat.

ssbbw avery sitting on me

ssbbw avery sitting on me on the sofa

Avery was heavier than I thought she’d be. Her profile on Feabie claimed 420 lbs. This didn’t feel like 420 lbs. Let’s just say that we’d later confirm that she’s meaningfully heavier. She bounced around and did as much flattening as she could on the sofa. Eventually, she fatigued and tagged April into play.

April sitting on me for the first time.

She was cracking up. I was struggling as she jumped around on me. I love that. A woman laughing totally unaware of just how much power her body and weight possess.

At one point, totally unexpectedly, she just jump up onto me feet first and bounced all around on me as if I were a trampoline.

very heavy trampling

Before long, my body was shot. For their first time, they brought it. My body felt molded into the sofa. Almost as if I had become part of the sofa.

They had other plans, though.

They weren’t through with me just yet.

These two love each other. Best of friends. They do everything together. So why not squash together!?

heavy facesitting

At first, it started innocently enough. The heavier of the two, Avery, was on my legs. And while it crushes the hell out of your thigh bones… it’s bearable. Avery has some of the greatest lower body curves in history… so her plopping her amazing booty onto my face is never a bad thing. Even if at times it pushes you to the point of feeling like you’re going to black out.

I was enduring it and they seemed to be having a blast.

But then…

ssbbw facesitting

They switched places. This time there was a heck of a lot more pressure on my head, throat, and chest. And they were totally immersed in each other. Almost as if they lost focus of the fact that there was a lifeless body under them. A guy weighin a mere quarter of their combined weight. A guy who couldn’t gulp an ounce of air even if his life depended on it. Or I guess his life sort of did depend on it.

Eventually I tapped. I didn’t want to. The conflict is real. You know you’re experiencing something magical. You don’t want it to end. But you also want to live to experience this again. And again. And again. And so you tap.

I truly thought were were done. I mean… what more could I possibly handle at this point. They knew I was gassed. And this was only the first of many videos that we’d hopefully make this day.

They had other plans.

One body on my head and chest wasn’t enough for them.

They wanted to stack their weight.

And so they did.

facesitting pile up

This was beyond heavy. I could feel the springs of the sofa digging into my head. I could hear them creaking. My vision was going blurry.

Again, I tapped. This time faster. I had no choice.

As a finale, they went full force double facesitting on me.

double facesitting

This is where I should stop writing words. Again. No words to it justice.

Just look. Let your imagination run wild.

Think about how amazing, scary, sexy, and intense it is.

Now multiply it by 1,000.

And there you have it.

The very first video with Avery and April.

I’ll share more stories from this epic shoot. There’s so much more greatness to come. And we click well. I have no doubt in my mind that there will be more shoots in the future. If you have requests, by all means… leave them in the comments below.

And if you want to own this clip, please visit any of our websites. You’ve got options. The membership site, the hybrid store, or the clips store.

The post Being a Sofa for Avery & April appeared first on Full Weight Life.

The World’s Heaviest Mom

June 26, 2018 Full Weight Life 0

Long before Full Weight Productions came to life, I was busy hustling to find new squash opportunities. Most of the opportunities came by way of random profiles I’d come across on the various social media platforms. Myspace, Yahoo groups, etc. This process worked very, very well. Ahhhhh, the gratitude I have for being alive during such a connected time. It’s so great… isn’t it? I met some amazing women along the way. Some of which who turned into actual models. Some who are just friends who love to, at times, use their weight as a portal to adventure and aggression-release.

There was one woman, however, that didn’t come to my attention by normal means.

One day I caught word of a news story. There was a woman. A HUGE woman. Who was trying to make the Guinness Book of World Records. She hoped to be the world’s heaviest woman to give birth. Of course, her name was out there and so I got to googling. Turned out that she lived only one state away. Armed with the information I had, I was able to track her down quite easily.

Fast forward to the end of this story. She did, indeed, make the Guinness Book of World Records.

And I also got squashed by her. Twice. Brutally.

Getting the Ball Rolling

At the time, this woman was an existing model in the BBW industry. I went to her (now defunct) website and started browsing her content. Wow… she was beautiful. And gigantic. Plus, the whole idea of her possibly being in the Guinness Book of World Records because of her weight magnified my desire to experience it.

“It” being her weight.

Make no mistake, though… I was intrigued to meet her, as a person, as well. To understand how she came to this juncture in her life where she was vying for the title of “heaviest woman to give birth.”

We got to emailing back and forth and surprisingly… she was down to try this. She had never before squashed. At least not seriously. I knew some media outlets were reporting her to be 630 lbs. She looked heavier to me. Regardless… I knew she’d be a massive challenge.

The date and location were set. We’d meet at a hotel that was local to her. Her boyfriend would drive her to me and we’d meet and introduce her to squashing. In the interim, I was busy showing her various pictures and videos so that she’d be prepared. Some women are so unsuspecting about the power of their weight that they are surprised that I grunt and moan while they’re moving their massive bodies around on me. In order to combat that surprise and set the expectations, I’ve developed the habit of sharing a bunch of content beforehand.

I sent her videos that best depicted the following positions:

  • Chestsitting
  • Facesitting
  • Trampling
  • Buttdrops
  • Soft surface
  • Hard surface

She was down to try anything and everything. When I hear that… a woman that claims to have no reservations about all the best content I’m sharing with her, my excitement and concern grow hand in hand. I know that I’m going to be exposed to serious pressure and it’s going to be epic. I also know that I’m going to have to be careful. Well… as careful as one can be with a woman weighing more than a quarter of a ton shifting her full weight around on top of me.

The Build-up

It was the day of. I had driven a couple of hours to the agreed upon hotel. Her arrival time had come and gone. I had already shifted the furniture around the room to make as much room as possible. I know that I have to leave a large chair (preferably a sofa) in reach because women this size need to sit. I want it to be as comfortable as possible when she first gets into the room. I shifted the coffee table, tiny seats, desk chair, the bed, and everything else to one side of the room in order to make space on the floor.

The thing about my fascination with squashing is this.

I like to truly feel every ounce. That’s one of the reasons why I’ve done some of the heaviest single-woman-trampling out there on the ‘net. When a woman is standing on you, it’s as pure as it gets in terms of experiencing her weight. But it’s also why I prefer to get sat on while laying on the hard, wooden board. Mattresses and cushions dilute the experience. If you feel the need to use those things, why not simply go hard surface with a lighter woman in order to keep it pure?

I mean… don’t get me wrong. I use mattresses and cushions for certain situations. You know… those acts that would freaking kill me if I subjected myself to them without padding. Things like 600+ lb full-on butt drops. And I’ll leak some mattress sitting in during a shoot nowadays to give myself a break.

I have to laugh when I type break, lol. Yes… cushioned sitting is much easier than hard-surface sitting. On the same token, though… the pressure is still immense. She could still break my bones and even kill me even with the padding under my body. Heck, I remember Zsalynn from Bigfatchics breaking a guys rib while sitting on him on the bed. Point is… no matter how you’re doing it… this stuff is intense. That and yeah… I really enjoy feeling every ounce as purely as possible.

At this particular time, though, I had not come up with the wooden board idea yet. In fact, it was this very experience that helped fuel the idea of the wooden board. Here’s the thing. Strap a 400-600 lbs fat suit onto your body. Get down on the floor. Now try and stand back up. Not so easy… I assure you. The board has made hard-surface sitting so much easier for the women. And when it’s easier for them, they can make it more intense for us! Win-win.

On this day I knew that if I were going to experience hard-surface sitting… it was going to be on the floor. Sure, there was a chincy coffee table in the room, but there was no way it was going to support me and then her on top of me bouncing around. I was smart enough to shy away from that. I mean, best case the table would break and this woman’s full weight would come crashing down onto me… possibly breaking a bone. Worst case, the table would break and the leg or a shard of wood would pierce my body as her weight crashed onto me.

You get the idea. The floor made a lot more sense at the time… and so I made space for the action

She started texting that she’d be late. She couldn’t say how late. Honestly… this is when my anxiety goes through the roof.

Is she going to flake on me?

Did I drive all this way and pay for a hotel room for nothing?

Is the hotel going to get suspicious when the largest woman they had ever seen walks through the lobby obviously never checking in?

Was I too presumptuous to shift around the furniture?

Heck, is this woman gathering her male friends to come and rob me?

My anticipation was running on overdrive. I couldn’t help but keep returning to my second-floor window peering out into the parking lot where I knew she’d be pulling up. Every single second felt like an eternity. It’s in these seconds where I truly doubt myself. I’m not sure why. I mean… I genuinely love the act of weight play. And I love, even more, to experience it with newcomers to the fetish. I love the adventure, the element of fear and danger, and even the meeting of new people and possibility of friendship. But baked into all of this is also some shame. As genuine and authentic as my love is for it, I can’t ever help but to feel a sense that I’m doing something wrong.

I think it has something to do with the immense pressure of cultural norms and how, from the outside looking in, what was about to transpire is beyond fucked up. Hell, some would call it assault. I often wonder how the average person walking down the street would perceive the sight of a 600+ lb woman jumping onto me. I imagine they’d think I’m dead. And that they had just witnessed a murder. Yeah, that’s pretty freaking cool to think about. What ordinary people would think is deadly is really just raw, heaven-like admiration from my perspective. But that shame starts to creep in while I’m sitting there staring out the window.

As fast as the shame enters my mind, it rushes out at the sight of the first car to pull into the parking lot since I took my overwatch position. It was a beat up old mini-van. Sure enough, it stops at the door that’s just below my window. The rear sliding door flings open. In it is the largest woman I had seen up to this point. Of course, she’s in the back. There’s no way she’s fitting in the front passenger seat! And she’s stunning. Truly an impressive goddess.

She works her way toward the door and ungracefully gets herself out. I’m literally in awe at how far upward the van’s shocks bounced as they were relieved from her massive load. Gulp!

She DEFINITELY looks bigger than 630!

And did you see the way that van moved with her weight? Is my body going to be able to handle this?

Here’s the thing about a woman this size. She takes a long time to get up to a second-floor hotel room. Since those early days, I’ve come to learn to always ask for a first-floor room. On this occasion, though, there was a significant gap between when I saw her enter the building to the time she was knocking on my door. In that time I’m looking in the mirror making sure I didn’t look ridiculous. Hey, you never know… you might have a booger or a whitehead that needs popping. I want to make as good of a first impression as someone of my average looks can make.

All the while, I’m SUPER aware and respectful of the nerves I’m sure she’s feeling. I mean, obesity is still massively discriminated upon in our culture. Given that immense pressure, I’m sure she’s feeling even more nervous about her first impression than I am of my own. Plus there’s the whole fact that she’s alone. Meeting a strange man. In a random hotel room.

Yeah, she’s definitely just as, if not more, nervous than I am. And again, I respect that and prepare myself with some deep breathes to act calm and welcoming so that she feels at ease. This is so important. For both of us.

Oh, and that whole strange man in a random hotel thing… I always wonder who would win? I mean, I’m as harmless as they come as any of the women I’ve worked with would attest to. But what if this situation unfolded with another man. A man that was out to cause the woman harm. To take advantage of her vulnerable position of being alone in a hotel room with them. Could a sub-200 pound man really handle a 600+ lb woman without a weapon? Of course, the only reason my mind veers down this path is because of its fascination with weight. In my mind, the answer is no. The man would be overpowered by the woman. She could pin him down and kill him even with very little effort at all. Awww… that power is so amazing. So special. So raw. So thrilling. I can’t wait to experience it.


Here we go!

I swing the door open with a huge smile and a welcoming hug. I invite her into the room to sit down on the sofa that I had arranged for her. She walks past me and I follow her to the sitting area. Wow, there’s no question that she’s bigger than her pictures lead us to believe! This is so awesome. I’m scared. Excited. Nervous. Happy.

The First Encounter

There’s always some small talk before starting to play with weight. I mean, there has to be. I realize that for a lot of guys out there, these women are viewed from merely a physical perspective. They might as well be brainless bags (big bags at that) of meat that they want to get under. This couldn’t be further from the truth from my perspective. First and foremost, that’s a woman sitting across from me in this random hotel room. A woman who’s scared and nervous for this first encounter. Plus she’s adventurous and open-minded… things that I place a huge premium of respect on.

I literally frame it in my mind that this is the only person in the world that matters right now. That she’s the most important person in the world. The most interesting. The most special. The one deserving of all that is genuine and good in me. Because I truly feel that way. In meeting her on this level (and this goes for all the women I’ve shared this experience with), it doesn’t take long for them to feel comfortable. Sure, there’s still the whole first squash experience thing to get under their belt. But on a human level, their concerns are removed.

It’s this human element that tends to separate me from the rest. From other producers. From other fans.

But I digress…

The point is, she was ready. We agree to film it because she was maybe going to use some of the content for her website. As odd as it might sound, filming it really doesn’t do much for me. It’s a pain in the ass if I’m being honest. I never go back and watch my own content… even to this day. I mean, yeah… sure. I watch it when I’m editing it to prepare it for upload to the websites. But beyond that, once it’s uploaded, I’m never watching it again. It just doesn’t do much for me. I prefer the real thing too much. That’s probably why I’ve built what I’ve built I guess.

Many women like to start out on the sofa or bed their first time. They’re so worried about breaking my bones or even killing me. Not this woman. It was right to the floor. Thank goodness I had cleared a nice big space for the action.

She struggled to get down onto me. To her credit, it’s quite a feat to get that much weight that low while maneuvering it around safely. Sure, she could just plop down but that increases the risk of serious injury to her or myself exponentially.

Wow, once she centered her weight on me it was all I had to keep my muscles tight and protect my ribs.

It’s one of those funny situations. There was so much anticipation leading up to this very moment. And here I am, maybe a few seconds into it, and I really, REALLY need to tap but I don’t want to ruin the moment. That said, I can begin feeling the tingles. That’s what I call that zone where you’ve been crushed to such a point that blacking out is on the horizon. Some guys don’t understand this. I hear it all the time from naive fans. “Why don’t you let them sit on you for hours?” Or I just love the, “I would have wanted TWO women that size and I would never tap.”

Yeah… okay buddy. Maybe you wouldn’t tap. But you’d also die. And sure… I’ll agree with you. It’s not such a bad way to go. Maybe even the ultimate way to go being a squash fan and all. But I’d much rather go out like that many, many years from now. Between now and then, though, there are just too many adventures to be had.

So yeah, I tapped. The ice was broken and now it was just a matter of seeing what else she’d be willing to try.

Next, she wanted to try rear facing chestsitting. I knew this would be even harder to handle. She struggled to get into position. In fact, for awhile she was sitting on my belly with one leg under her. Meaning her knee was on the floor supporting a bunch of her weight. Honest to goodness… I never looked. I was looking straight up struggling beyond belief not even realizing that I wasn’t getting her full weight. Once I went to tap, I picked my head off the floor to see the view before I tapped and sure enough… I noticed the oversight. I was shocked that she wasn’t giving me her full weight. It felt almost unbearable as is. But we adjusted, got both of her legs out in front of her, and she slid all the way back onto my tiny ribs.


She liked that position a lot. She enjoyed hearing me grunt to force the tiniest of oxygen into my lungs each breath. And “breath” is a massive overstatement. They were maybe 5% of my normal breathing happening. I was suffocating. And as my muscles wore out and my forced breathing allowed her to sink further and further into my body… I could see the light.

She liked it so much that she wanted to try forward sitting once more but this time more toward my chest.

She began rolling on, which is always the most amazing moment. Where you can see this massive, beautiful, powerful woman about to give you her weight. That moment right before you are engulfed. Overwhelmed. Pushed to your limits of survival.

She got her full girth rolled up onto me and it was immediate destruction.

There she was, exerting zero effort. Well, she was jiggling her belly. But totally oblivious to the fact that I was on the verge of panic. My spine felt dangerously crushed. And from this position, no matter how hard I grunted, I couldn’t get any air into my lungs. Don’t get it twisted. It’s a beautiful dichotomy… her sitting there relaxing while I’m struggling to survive. But it’s in those very moments where a tiny voice cries out from deep in the abyss of my unconscious mind. “Dude, you’re going to die. WTF are doing to yourself?”

I pushed the limit furthest in this position. It was just too magical of a position peering up at the giant belly and feeling all that pressure. I did eventually tap. I’m not sure how long I lasted. Every second felt like an hour. I kid you not. That’s how epic these experiences are. I’m sure it was only a matter of seconds in reality, though.

She went on to side sit me a few times. It wasn’t as intense as her weight was spread across my body more evenly in this position. It’s all relative, though, as I was still pushed to my limits before long.

At this point I was toasted. My body hurt. My back was killing me. Usually, all this hard surface weight play is interspersed with some padded sitting. There was none of that to be had. She was relentless. I made what I thought to be my final plea for mercy. Only she wasn’t done. Remember… I had shared a number of videos with her in preparation of this shoot. I wanted to “prepare” her for what to expect. Well… turns out that she wanted to try that “standing on you” stuff. She thought it looked fun.

I’ll be honest, I was super hesitant. My body just didn’t feel up for it. Plus, this woman felt really freaking heavy. I didn’t know what she weighed but she was right up there with the heaviest weight I’d experienced up to that point. I didn’t even know if trampling was safe to do at this woman’s size. In the heat of the moment, though, emotions beat out logic and I sprawled my weary body out across that unforgivingly hard floor one last time.

If you’ve never layed on your back peering up at a woman this size as she walks toward you… it’s one of the most astonishing and frightening sights to be had.

She did manage to step up onto me… one foot heavily sinking into my ribcage and the other into my lower abdomen.

Of course, she was leaning a lot of her weight into the table. Still… there were hundreds and hundreds of pounds pressing into me through the relatively tiny surface area of her feet. And then it happened. Quite literally one of the closest times I’ve come to being seriously injured while under a woman.

She was just about to stand tall from the table when the foot that was on my chest slipped. Only it didn’t slip sideways. It slipped up to my neck.

That’s how quickly this can go from intense fun to intense tragedy boys and girls. This was pretty early in my squashing career and I’ve learned a lot since then. But still… it’s hard to put into words just how heavy 600+ lbs really is. When you’re applying it through feet, one small slip up can rush a massive amount of force and pressure onto very sensitive areas of your body that have no business handling 600-700 lbs.

In this particular case, I literally have zero ideas how I walked away from the event unscathed. I can still remember the second her weight crashed onto my throat. It was just that… a second. But time stopped for me. My vision went black immediately and it felt like she was standing straight through my throat onto my cervical spine. And just as quickly as the weight slid onto my throat, it slid off.

I count my blessings as I recount this amazing and scary day.

You’d think that’d be the end of our first experience together. At this point, I was explaining how beat up I felt and how I didn’t think I had it in me to tolerate any more weight. She pleaded with me to try facesitting. I wasn’t having it, which I’m sure sounds crazy to all of you who’ve never had your body destroyed like this. At that moment, though, I truly felt that if I let this giant woman sit on my face on the hard floor that I wouldn’t walk away in one piece. I had already pushed my luck further than I had intended.

She did get me to agree to lay on the bed to give her a nice comfy seat to plant her giant ass on.

She smothered me good… leaving me gasping for air more than once. She even tried to jump up onto my face at one point.

I was completely finished at this point. I remember pleading, “No more, no more,” as I rolled over to my side to remove any possibility of her sitting back down onto me. My throat was sore from the trampling mishap. It was hard to swallow actually, which was freaking me out a little. My spine hurt. My ribs were sore. And my face felt beat up from being sat on. She agreed that I had enough and that was that.

Those early days of my squashing career were the Wild Wild West of times. I was just learning the ropes… figuring out what my body could and could not tolerate. I was learning, through trial and error, how to execute most of these positions as safely as possible. And yeah… I was flirting with disaster at times.

All of that said, this encounter was one I’ll never forget. I purposefully didn’t mention this woman’s name and I concealed her identity in the photos. If you’ve been around the BBW scene for any length of time, you’ll know who she is. I ask that you please keep her identity concealed in the comments section. This footage never made it onto any websites and she has since retired from posting this sort of material on the ‘net. I still have the original video and it’s for my eyes only. While this woman and I no longer communicate, I do think extremely highly of her. She has my utmost respect and I expect that to be maintained by all of you reading this. I have no doubt that I could make decent money if I posted this video onto the websites… but that’s a trust I’d never break like that.

It’s amazing women like her that give us the possibility to experience weight and power in this way. If this woman comes across this story, all I can say is THANK YOU! Thanks for trusting me enough to try this with me. And thanks for letting me experience your beauty and power from this perspective. You rock and I truly hope that you are well.

As for the second encounter… it did happen. There was a lot more full weight floor sitting. At one point I was forward facesat by her on the hard floor without padding. In the next set she was standing on me full weight yet again… this time without incident besides the bruised ribs and what felt like a tear in the wall of my stomach. I’ll save this story for another day. And truth be told… I can’t find the original video from this second encounter. And without pictures, the story is diluted too much for my liking.

Anyhow, this is just one small piece to the giant puzzle of squashing adventure that led up to the creation of Full Weight Productions.

If you liked this story, please drop a comment below. And be sure to support us by visiting our stores so that we can keep the adventure alive.

Oh, and if you haven’t yet, please subscribe to the email list on the homepage. I won’t spam you… promise. It’s mostly so you can get notifications when future blogs like this get posted.

Thanks for tuning in!


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Neighbor knocking during a shoot? Let them in!!!

June 19, 2018 Full Weight Life 0

One of the fan favorites over the years was actually one of the lightest women to grace us with her presence. Mistress Lia hovers between 185-195 lbs. And she is Thick with a capital T. We’re talking big ol’ thighs complete with cellulite and jiggle for days. What’s more is the fact that she packs a ton of power into that (relatively) little body of hers.

It’s funny how a 190 lb woman is considered tiny here.

Consider this, though.

Mz Fluff, another amazing woman who spends some time around Full Weight Productions, is nearly 5 times the weight of Mistress Lia. It’s easy to get complacent about just how heavy some of these women are in our lineup.

Anyhow, Mistress Lia is stunning… head to toe. I don’t recall where we initially crossed paths. My earliest remembrance is from Facebook. I recall showing her some sample videos to test out her perceptions of the various ways we like to play with weight around here. When I’m showing a prospective model sample videos, I like to throw in a couple that are more extreme than I have experience with. I’m testing her out. Is she normal… in that she has a fear of hurting me? Or is she crazy… in that this woman would break me to pieces if completely I gave myself to her.

Needless to say, Mistress Lia fell in the latter camp. She’s not the first and she certainly won’t be the last. Each time I cross paths with a woman in this camp, I’m both excited and nervous at the same time. You have to keep in mind:

  1. Almost every single woman who has come to work for me on FWP had zero experience using her weight like this prior to our first shoot.
  2. The first shoot is also the first time I’m meeting these women. It’s not like we’ve built up this crazy amount of chemistry and trust in advance.

With that in mind, it can be a little sketchy when first meeting a woman who apparently has no fear when it comes to injuring me. Can I trust that she’ll listen to my mercies? Will she understand that the sample videos were just that… samples? That they’re not a permit to go and do the same thing to me in our shoot?

Of course when we finally come face to face, there’s some small talk exchanged. We have to sign some contracts. And it’s during this time where I’ll typically share what she should expect. In the case of Mistress Lia, her response was pretty much, “Yeah yeah yeah… I get it. Let’s get to it already.”


That first shoot was epic. We didn’t script anything out. I would simply pull out the board, for example, and say you can do whatever you want to me while I lay on this here piece of wood. Or I’d lay on the floor and tell her that this video should be mostly trampling. Up until this point in time, Mistress Lia was the heaviest woman to stand on my throat full weight. And of course, that was unscripted. She saw it in one of the sample videos and took it upon herself to step right up. Oomph. It was one of the closest times I’ve come to passing out without actually passing out.

She had the softest bottom half I had ever seen. I remember her sitting it softly down onto me at first while I was laying on the board. I recall how plush and cushiony it felt. I thought to myself, “Wow, this isn’t going to be too challenging actually.” Within seconds, though, Mistress Lia started jumping up into the air and slamming her softness down onto me full weight. I don’t care how soft the package is… when gravity pulls 190 lbs onto you at a high rate of speed… it’s brutal!

Mistress is pretty famous for her bounciness. She simply doesn’t know how to sit still. Makes for epic content. Jiggles and slams everywhere. But it also makes for a sore body. I’ve left her apartment bruised and battered. Always happy, though.

Anyhow, back to this first shoot. We’re wrapping up the final video. It was a board sitting video where she was forward straddling my throat. Let me tell you… those thighs make for the sort of ear muffs any man in his right mind would love to wear!

Needless to say, I was straight up whooped at this point. I had been sat on, jumped on, trampled, crushed, dropped, and flattened from every conceivable angle from this dominant goddess. I was sweaty. My eyes were bloodshot from the pressure. I had scratches on my neck and face. I looked worked over.

I was literally still laying on the bench after she had gotten off of me for the last time. It felt impossible to move. I knew that we had just captured some amazing content. I knew that I had just experienced memories that I’d never forget. And I knew that I wanted to work with her again in the future. But I could. Not. Move.

Then came a rapid knock at the door.

A jolt of adrenaline rushed through my veins. I’m very private about this part of my life. I mean, don’t get me wrong… something about getting squashed in public appeals to me like nothing else. But I’m not at a point in my personal evolution to go for it even though I’ve had offers. I certainly don’t want to be exposed to an unexpected party intra-shoot. It’s just too vulnerable of a position.

Wouldn’t you know, though, that Mistress Lia waltzed over to the door as if nothing was strange. It wasn’t strange that there was some strange white man sitting on a wooden plant with a black mast over his face. It wasn’t strange that there were 3 tripods with cameras on them pointing at the strange man. It wasn’t strange that Mistress Lia was looking sexy as hell in a leopard print nighty.

Mistress Lia flung open the door and in walks her neighbor from downstairs. Her neighbor, in her own right, was a big woman. Maybe 30-50 lbs heavier than Mistress Lia. And I get what you’re thinking… this is the stuff the dreams are made of. Call me a wimp if you must, but I was frozen. I felt shame, embarrassment, fear, etc. Plus, even if this woman did rip her clothes off and decide to jump onto me along with Lia (you know, the stuff dreams are made of), there’s no chance I’d last more than a matter of seconds. As I said… I was completely worked over at this point.

Anyhow, Mistress Lia welcomes her in and asks what’s going on. Her neighbor replies… and I shit you not:

“I had to come up and make sure things were good. I heard all sorts of moaning up here and my damn chandelier kept bouncing all around. I knew someone was getting into some serious shit up in here. Now I see it’s some freaky as shit.”

Mistress Lia’s response was priceless… and mind you I’m still 100% speechless sitting on the bench.

“Nah, nothing freaky. This is Steve. He likes having big girls jump around on him. Can you believe I just got paid to stand on this sexy man? He took it real good too. I’m gonna do it again. You want to join next time?”

The rest is history. There I sat… in silence… while the second shoot with MIstress Lia was planned. Only that second shoot, which we’ll save for another day, involved a second woman. Mistress Lia and Candy would be the first and only women to ever butt drop me so hard that they broke the board.

Only when you put yourself in these crazy ass positions do crazy ass events like this unfold. You want to experience this? You’ve got to get out of your comfort zone and meet people. There are all sorts of amazingly adventurous and outgoing people in the world. You just have to open yourself up to them on a real, human, respectful level and be open with them. Who are you? What do you want? What’s this all about?

I’ll never forget those crazy ass days when Mistress Lia was around. I’ve since lost touch with her, unfortunately. My original Facebook account was deleted, along with all of my contacts there. God forbid you post a picture of a big woman (not nude, btw!) standing on a smaller man. I’ve seen much, much worse on Facebook… but whatever. But I could never find her again and, believe it or not, that’s the only way we ever communicated.

If you’re reading this Mistress Lia, it’s time for shoot number 3. And I’m dying to meet who your neighbors are today?

The post Neighbor knocking during a shoot? Let them in!!! appeared first on Full Weight Life.

The Meaning of a Woman’s Weight

June 15, 2018 Full Weight Life 0

I think I have a very unique perspective on this topic.

First let me state some very important points:

  • I by no means think I’m in a position to measure a person’s worth, by weight or any other standard. And if I were to make an attempt at it, I certainly wouldn’t be so superficial to use weight as a primary (or even secondary) metric.
  • A woman is free to weigh whatever she chooses to weigh. If you want to be rail thin, rock on. If you want to have large muscles, have at it. If you want to be soft and carry a lot of fat, I support you.
  • What I’ll be discussing in this post might seem like I’m doing nothing but objectifying women. Please know that this is merely a sliver of my worldview. I’m shining a bright light on a very specific topic. It is NOT the extent of how I feel about anything and everything. It’s merely a discussion. If it offends you, I think it’d be worth exploring why. You might uncover something in your life that’s been bothering you… something you can let go of.
  • I value people. Relationships. Love. Friendship. Community. Bonds. There’s no greater opportunity than to be part of the shared human experience. I love people. Any and all people. I think we’re all very unique and very special in our own sort of way and I am very grateful for having the opportunity to meet people and learn about them. The point is, if you’re reading this… especially if you’re a woman… you mean a lot more to me than the number you’re seeing on the scale.

With that out of the way, let’s get into what that reading on the scale actually means to me. And my apologies in advance. I imagine this is going to get a little long.


I like weight.

Specifically, weight that’s sourced from a woman’s body.

Especially when that weight is grand enough to overpower my body.

Say what?

Well, I’m not a submissive. At least not in the traditional sense. Meaning I don’t like women dressed in leather to whip me and dominate me. I’m sure there’s more that goes into that lifestyle and admittedly… I’m ignorant about it. But I don’t have any part of me that feels compelled to learn more about it so I’m guessing it’s not for me.

But I do like to feel a woman’s weight on me.

Strange… right?

Yeah, I thought so, too, when I first realized this.

I was 9 or 10. There was a female neighbor. She was 7 or 8. And HUGE. Like weighed more than a thin adult female at the time. And in relative terms, she was the biggest kid I had ever seen. In hindsight, I feel bad for her. She didn’t choose to be large. She was poor. Her parents were very overweight. Her sister was over 400 lbs.

Genetically, environmentally, and socially… she didn’t have a choice. She was likely programmed to be fat long before she even came out of her mother’s womb. Don’t believe me? Do some research on epigenetics. It’s pretty crazy. What your mom ate while you were in the womb likely influenced your weight today.

Regardless… at the time I didn’t feel any of this. All I could think about was getting under her heavy body. It wasn’t sexual at all. I had no interest in the opposite sex yet. I simply had this innate, predetermined desire baked into my subconscious that was pulling me toward her weight like gravity.

I can’t say where it came from. I remember feeling very weird about it. Ashamed even. So many questions swirled around in my head.

Why do I want this?

Where does it come from?

Is it safe?

Will she kill me?

Should I tell her?

Am I the only one who wants this experience?

Ahhh, the raw authenticity, curiosity, and innocence of youth. I miss it, even to this day. But I digress.

I wanted to get SQUASHED! That’s the only word that came to mind to describe my desire. Such a funny word, too. I could never have imagined how that word would come to define a meaningful part of my life later on.

At first, I was stupid about it. I’d find every opportunity to be around her. And when I’d share space with her, I’d awkwardly lay down, flat on my back, wishing with all of my might that she’d just hop right onto me.

I didn’t understand. That she was ashamed of her weight. That she was verbally assaulted every single day in school because of her weight. That she was uncomfortable. That she felt different. Much, much different than most overweight kids today. Not that the struggle still doesn’t exist. But the prevalence of overweight among our youth is much, much higher today than it was when I was a kid. This was back in the early to mid 80′s and being of size was more unacceptable than it is today… and that’s saying something.

Of course she wasn’t going to want to “squash� someone. Not when she felt ashamed and isolated. But I was too young to understand any of this.

After many failed attempts at laying down and praying she’d decide to squash me, something amazing happened. Almost as if destiny was real and she was swirling around her magic wand to set me down this path of relating to a woman’s weight in this very specific way.

A Turning Point

All of the neighborhood kids were playing H.O.R.S.E. You know the game. You shoot a basketball. If you make it, everyone else has to make the same shot. If they miss, they get a letter. Once you get “horse,� you’re out. The winner is the last person standing.

On this particular day, though, one of the other boys came up with a wrinkle in the rules that would forever change the course of my life.

The first loser has to get sat on by Amy (fictitious name, FYI). And they have to stay under her until the game is over!

1) If my REAL neighbor is reading this, you’ll know who you are. I wish nothing more than for you to reconnect with me so I can explain where, at least, I was coming from back then. By no coincidence at all, my email address is

2) Are you kidding me!!!??? I mean, talk about luck. Some 30 years later and I’ve yet to presented with such a fortunate turn of events as this. Of course this other boy was being mean. He was putting all the attention on Amy’s weight and treating it like it was something to fear. I’m sure it didn’t make her feel good at all. But in the same breath, it was like he was answering my biggest wish ever.

I never lost a game of H.O.R.S.E. so quickly. I missed every shot and hurried over to the sideline to lay down.

They say your strongest memories are formed during the most emotionally heightened times of your life. Let me tell you… I remember every single thing after laying down.

I remember the way Amy walked over to me. I remember noticing how she struggled to walk because of the size of her legs. I remember how big she looked from the point of view from my back looking up. I remember seeing her belly hanging over her shorts, which I could see under her shirt from my vantage point. I remember wishing she’d stand on me rather than sit because I imagined that’d be a lot more intense and awesome. I remember wondering if I was going to get hurt. I even remember the way the sky looked behind her as I anxiously peered upward at her. The way the clouds moved. The way the leaves danced in the wind.

It was perfect.

Amy plopped down onto my chest unapologetically. Like hard. Really, really hard. It knocked the wind out of me so violently that I was coughing and wheezing uncontrollably. She rolled off to the side. I remember she was laughing nervously thinking she seriously hurt me. Honest to goodness… even though I was sincerely struggling to catch my breath… I was happier than I had ever been in my life to that point.

I caught my breath and Amy slid back onto my chest. She was sitting squarely on it so that her butt was near my chin and her feet were toward my feet. It was thrilling, scary, exciting, painful, blissful, and so many other adjectives. It was like an endless array of powerful emotions were swarming around me and I wanted more and more of it. It was the most emotionally and physically powerful experience I had had to that point in my life.

Of course, that was my mind and heart speaking. My body on the other hand? It was failing. The game was still going on even though I couldn’t tell you a thing about it. My entire existence was wrapped up in this little experience that was unfolding on the sideline. What I did know, though, was that I wasn’t going to last. I was constricted to a point where my lungs weren’t working as they should. The more fatigued my muscles got, the less I could support her massive weight. And eventually, I remember it feeling like my bones were the only thing supporting her. My muscles had long since burned out. And my organs were smashed.

I remember thinking that I might actually die. I was genuinely scared. I started to panic. I kicked and tried to roll to no avail. I remember thinking how terrifying yet exciting this predicament was. I didn’t have the words for it then… it was all stemming from innate desires. Something deep within my reptilian brain yearned for such struggle. For whatever reason, I loved the notion of being in trouble from the simple fact that a girl was placing her weight on me.

Amy wasn’t mean. In fact, she was really freaking awesome. I loved the person she was. She slid off me and we laughed together. Amazingly, she seemed to enjoy it a bit.

Within minutes, she was back to socializing with the other kids as if none of that meant anything. I, on the other hand, was enthralled. I mean, yeah. My lungs hurt. I couldn’t take a deep breath in without feeling a sharp pain. And my back hurt. Heck, I even remember feeling light headed when I sat up.

But I was so damn hooked.

I imagine it’s how it might be for an addict the first time someone tries meth or something like that. And admittedly, I don’t know a lot about drugs. Are you an addict before you try the drug? Or does the addiction form after you try the addictive substance. If it’s the latter then why can some people try it and walk away from it never to try it again?

All I knew back then, though, was that I was indeed addicted.

The ice was broken. For the next couple of years I concocted so many unusual games that led to the loser getting squashed by Amy. Needless to say, I learned to embrace being a loser of games early on. If this was losing, I wanted to be a loser for the rest of my life.

So yeah…

That’s how I first experienced a woman’s weight. I can’t say that it’s how this all started. As I indicated earlier… the desire was there before the experience. Was I born an addict maybe? I don’t know. But I was too excited to figure out what was next to worry about the origins of it all. This was absolutely the start of something much, much bigger than I could have ever imagined.

The Experimental Years

Eventually Amy moved away. And I figured out ways to have other experiences. Babysitters, aunts, other friends, etc. I got under others and my desire for it grew with each successive squashing. It never got old. Like… never ever.

The questions still remained. Was I flawed? Broken? Weird? Alone?

Around the 7th grade we got our first home computer with the Internet. AOL was the shit! It was mind-blowing how I could talk to anyone across the world. I could even search profiles that had pictures. Not gonna lie… I was checking out the profiles of big women long before I should’ve been. More importantly… I could search the web for anything.

The first thing I searched was “fat women.�

Hot damn! There were already websites dedicated to big women. And I stumbled across this term – BBW. Big beautiful women. I searched it and I was literally shocked. There were images of women who were far larger than I ever believed possible. It was sort of like learning that Santa Clause was actually real. Imagine if that’s how the story went way back when? I had never seen women this large. I mean… I had been drawing pictures of enormous women. They were very rudimentary… as I’m no artist in the traditional sense. I believed the fictitious characters on my papers were the stuff of dreams and fairytales. But here, right before me on this fancy computer thingamajig, were images of real women who were, in fact, larger.

I had to feel this kind of weight on me.

Naturally, my next inclination was to search “squashing.”

Oh. My. God.

I won’t put exclamation marks there because there aren’t enough to convey how amazed I was.

I was not alone. Not by a mile. Not only were there other guys who were obviously into getting squashed. But there were actually women – big, powerful women – who were into squashing. I felt validated. I felt accepted. And more than anything, I felt excited. I felt that I was only at the very tip of what was probably a very large iceberg of experience. There was so much more to do. So many more women to meet. So much adventure to be had.

Now around this same time, I was also hitting puberty and learning that there was more to women than weight. I’m talking from a physical perspective. Obviously all humans – men and women – are complex, multifaceted, amazing creatures on all levels… emotional, cognitive, and physical. But around this time I was coming into my own as far as physical attraction toward the opposite sex goes.

This only stood to magnify my desire to experience squashing. Now it wasn’t just about having a big woman put her weight on me. It was about having a big, sexy woman put her weight on me and that was a profoundly different experience. Not from the outside onlooker necessarily. But from the internal experience that I was going through… yeah. It compounded the intensity of the pleasure and excitement.

Over the next 10-15 years, the Internet and social communities evolved. I remember the early days of Yahoo Groups and Yahoo Messenger. And then even Myspace. Needless to say, there were endless profiles and as the obesity “epidemic,� as they call it, unfolded… more and more of these profiles depicted large women.

I don’t know if I come across as trustworthy, interesting, fun, respectful, or what. But I presented the concept of squashing to many women, strangers at that, who wound up trying it with me. It was such a crazy time. As soon as I could drive, I was going to women’s homes for squashing rendezvouses. I assure you, they were just that. Maybe I’m naive. Or a sexual wimp. But there was no nudity. There was no sexual contact. It was merely small talk followed by me laying down on the hard floor and feeling their full weight on me.

Pure weight play. Pure adventure. Pure excitement. Through the awkwardness of random squashings… so much fun was had and friendships were forged. Some that even stand to this day.

It was all about experimenting. Each woman was bigger than the last. I assumed I’d find a physical limit to what I could handle. What would happen once I found it? I had no idea. And it terrified me. Excited me, too. A lot. The thought of encountering a woman so heavy that I couldn’t handle a second of her weight was so exhilarating. This idea fueled my passion to keep exploring. Keep meeting awesome women. Keep testing limits. Keep pushing myself.

There are so many great stories from those days. I could write an entire book on it. Picking up a girl from college who was too big to fit into my front seat. I had to call her a taxi to get her to the hotel room. Blacking out while a stranger stood on me on the bathroom floor of a cheap hotel. Having a woman I had only just met sit squarely on my chest whose butt was so large that both of her cheeks touched the floor next to my body. And I struggled, grunting as I tried to breathe and she was telling me to shhhh as I’d wake up her sister who was her roommate… not caring that I was suffocating under her. Two very large sisters who sat on me on the dirty floor of their apartment who literally had an involved conversation as if I didn’t exist under them… they ignored my taps for mercy for nearly 15 minutes. Being stood on by a woman who was trying to be in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the fattest mom on the planet. On and on these adventures go.

I learned a lot. I refined the narrative I have about squashing – what it means to me, why I think you should try it, and what it’s all about. I met some truly remarkable people. And I never did find a limit. Which was totally okay in my book… probably better off anyhow.

Turning Pro

By the time my early 20s rolled around, there were adult websites dedicated solely to squashing. Well actually, the first one ever was there back in my early AOL days. I don’t know if it still exists today. Hold on… let me go check.

Wow… yep, it’s still there. Keep in mind, it’s NSFW. Isn’t that the phrase they use to explain that something might contain adult images? Not safe for work. Why isn’t it NSFC… not safe for children? Ahh, whatever. There are images of partially nude women on this site.

I haven’t visited that site for decades, but wow does it bring back some fond memories. The reason I never returned to it, though, was because of the explosion of BBW websites that hit the scene. Many of them focused on squashing, or, at a minimum, contained some squashing content. If you’re a connoisseur, you’ll recognize names like Goddess Patty, Zsalynn, Chocolate Desires, Raqui, etc.

It wasn’t long until I began reaching out to some of these women. I explained that I had an immense background in squashing and I could help them create very intense content. After all, it was the intense stuff that drew the most attention from customers. It was a win-win. I could get squashed by heavier women than I had ever encountered and they would capture great content for their sites.

I had some fun there. I only worked for 2 “famous� BBW models. This path was cut short by an obvious question, though.

If these women were making money at this, couldn’t I help other women I had become friends with along the way make money with this, too. Now, I didn’t know the first thing about making money online. I didn’t know how to build websites or anything like that. But by this time, technology was booming. There were now turnkey platforms that catered to adult fetish content. Put simply, you could sign up and within a matter of minutes have a fully functional store that you could sell content on. And there was a captive audience… tons of customers coming to the platform to browse all the various fetishes and stores.

They say everyone has some kink or fetish. Sure, some are more normal than others – like blond hair. But when I first stumbled upon, I was shocked by how many fetishes there were. Smoking, diapers, gaining weight, feeding, financial domination. CBT, BDSM, amazons, jiggling, feet, and on and on it went.

Of course one of the many categories was squashing. Think about the trajectory. The turn of events. Major dots in my life over decades of time were being connected. I literally recall naming the experience with Amy back on the basketball court squashing. And now, here I was, an adult, tossing around the idea of “going pro” in the squash game.

Let me tell you. There isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t pause and let my gratitude envelop me. To be alive today is magical. I mean, there are more heavy women than in any other time in history. And technology is such that there are no boundaries to who you can connect with. It’s a truly remarkable turn of events. I do wonder if I would have had the Amy Experience had computers and devices been around back then. Sure, I would have been looking at squash content online still. But I see kids today. They’re always connected.  It seems that they struggle to bridge the gap between fantasy and reality. Again… even there I have to embrace my gratitude. Thank goodness I was alive pre-mindless-connection.


I went to my “rolodex� and ran the idea by a woman I had chatted with for years and years. She was stunning. Over 500 lbs and just very, very pretty. She was perfect. I bought a camera. I told her I’d help her set up a store on this platform. And we’d meet, film a handful of videos, upload them, and sit back and let the money roll in.

We made 5 or so videos. She sat on my chest. She sat on my belly. She sat on my face. She stood on me. She jumped butt first onto me. To the outside onlooker, this would look insane. I understand this. I mean, a 500+ lb woman is big. Very, very big. And to see her violently throwing her weight around on an average size person, you’d think she’s killing him. If they looked closer, though, they’d see the smile on my face.

We did that for some time. Maybe 3-4 shoots. She made some money. Not enough to make it a full-time gig or anything like that. Man, I wish that were the case. There just aren’t enough people interested in it to turn that kind of profit. But still… if you’re openminded and adventurous, it’s pretty easy money. Turn on a camera and jump around on some trustworthy guy for a bit, hit upload, and watch the money roll in. Not a bad gig for all parties involved.

My name was growing in this very niche part of the adult fetish industry.

Who was this guy who was handling these huge women in this intense way?

I was getting inquiries from other models who wanted to do shoots with me. They had trouble finding guys who could handle their weight in the ways their fans wanted to see them using it. And emails from men. Soooo many emails from men. Some of them were curious about how I wasn’t getting hurt. They wanted to know if I had tips for them. Others wanted to know if I could introduce them to the women I was working with. They were sending me requests. Request after request. I thought I had done everything in the book, but man alive… these guys were nuts. They wanted to see 600+ lb women stand on my throat full weight. They wanted to see enormous women walk on my body wearing spiked heels. They wanted to see me passing out under their butts. Total freaking insanity.

As an aside, the most common remark from men who email is this.

You’re so lucky.

Lucky? Wake up, man. You’re alive during the most epic time in human existence. Opportunity is all around you. Sure, I was lucky to have Amy as a neighbor back in the day. Even without her, though… I would have fallen into this someway somehow. Life’s seriously freaking brief. Here today, gone tomorrow. I could drop dead befor……………………

Just kidding.

Before finishing this sentence. You have one major decision that will stand as the basis for the remainder of your existence. Are you going to be someone who is defined by the circumstances around you? Or are you going to choose to design a life that’s on your terms? Especially if you’re in North America. I mean… the prevalence of overweight and obesity is something like 70%. Heavy women are all around you. If you want to experience this, you can’t excuse yourself from the responsibility by calling it luck. It’s not luck. I’ve experienced squashing with over 50 women. That’s not luck. If something keeps happening over and over and over… by definition that’s not luck.

Grow up. Own your life. Be who you want to be. Live how you want to live.


It didn’t take long for me to realize that my entire life had been leading to this moment. It was time to start a website that catered to full weight, intense squashing on my terms.

The Birth of Full Weight Productions

It hit me like a bolt of lightning. It just made so much sense. I mean, running my own shop would provide the platform for me to come at women in a professional way without seeming like an absolute weirdo. Mind you, that never stopped me from experiencing this with women who were strangers before. So if you’re reading this as some hopeful guy, please know that you don’t need to have a website and do this professionally to experience this. You just can’t be an asshat. Yeah… I said it. Most of you guys are asshats. Before you say hello and properly introduce yourself online, you’re sending dick pics to these women.


No actually… that deserves spelling out.

What. The. Fuck!?

Nobody wants to see your dick. And if you’re serious about potentially experiencing squashing with a woman you don’t really know… let’s face it. You have to establish some trust. You have to seem somewhat normal and respectful. Presenting yourself as a sex-crazed maniac who can’t control his impulses or converse on a human level scares even me. Let alone the poor woman who finds you in her inbox.

Think a little…sheesh.

But again… I digress.

My own website would create a legitimate platform for this adventure. It would potentially put a little play money in my pocket, which I certainly could have used at the time (that still hasn’t changed, mind you). And maybe, more importantly, it would establish a way for the women I would squash with to actually get compensated.

This brings up an important point. I never have nor will I ever in the future work with a woman who’s solely in this for the money. I have no interest in that shit. There are too many openminded, adventurous women out there who are genuinely interested in trying something new and exciting like this for or without compensation for me to have any interest in a money-seeking woman. Sure, money can be part of the reason. But it cant be the only reason.

But still… the idea of being able to compensate women who wanted to share this experience with me felt a lot better than not being able to compensate them.

Plus there was the sheer art of it. I know, I know. How the hell could you say there’s art to squashing. But hear me out. There are a ton of customers who like to see squashing unfold in very specific ways. Some of these ways are very, very hard to handle. There aren’t many guys who can handle weight in the ways that I can. And there aren’t many people out there that can bring together women like this to do this sort of thing over and over. Being able to field requests and honor them in ways that were very appealing felt like art to me. And it still does to this day.

Anyhow, that’s a very long way of saying that I started my own thing. The name was obvious. Full Weight Productions. At first it started as a store on the clips4sale platform. Since then I’ve also launched a membership site as well as a hybrid membership/clips-on-demand website.

The store –

The membership site –

The hybrid site –

Just like the early years of my squashing life, there are some very epic tales from the squashings related to FWP. I won’t go into them here. I mean, you can go to any of the links above and see pictures, sample videos, and full clips. But obviously, there are stories behind all of the encounters you’ll see there. Someday I plan on sharing these stories in some form. Please let me know if you have an interest in that.

I’ve been truly pushed and tested by women weighing 160 lbs all the way up to one woman who weighed just shy of 900 lbs. No joke. If you’re reading this, you know who you are and I love you… you’re one of the most beautiful humans I’ve ever met – inside and out. Heck, every woman I’ve opened up to professionally in the squash game has become a dear, dear friend of mine. I love you all.

I’ve had two women who were over 600 lbs sit on me at the same time as I laid across a hard, wooden board. I’ve had women stand full weight straight on my throat. I’ve had women sit on and ultimately pop beach balls that were resting on my chest. I had a woman crush a watermelon that was on me. I’ve had women jump off of platforms onto me feet first. I had a huge boulder rolled onto me and a woman sat on and stood on it. I had a 650 lb woman sit on my head as it was rested back over a sofa seat cushion and I passed out. On and on it goes… just crazy, crazy stuff.

Not stuff, actually. Fun. Sheer, unabated fun.

What can I say, I’m like the Evil Knievel of heavyweight women.

So this brings me back to weight. What does a woman’s weight mean to me?

Obviously there’s a lot of fun, adventure, excitement, business, power, and much, much more baked into the meaning of weight for me.

But beyond all else, I appreciate the physicality of a woman. All of it. Goddesses come in many, many forms. But they all have some commonalities. Curves. Rolls. Softness. Cellulite. Dimples. They jiggle when they move. They fit tightly into clothes. On and on it goes.

Weight, though… it’s like the wind. You can’t see it. You can only feel it. And to truly experience it… it has to be on you. Squashing provides a definitive, tangible feeling of weight. What’s more… it bottles up all of that appeal to the physicality of a woman into one very concise, pure, powerful experience.

It’s an understatement to say that when a woman puts her full weight on me, she becomes my entire world. It’s *that* powerful. It sucks your consciousness into a black hole of shared human experience where the only thing that matters is you, the woman on you, and staying alive long enough to tap for a mercy. It’s a physical challenge. It’s a mental challenge. And it’s all rooted in pure respect for the woman who might find herself on top of me.

I realize that this might seem so fucking strange to some of you. And that’s okay. Like I said, we’re all unique in our own sort of ways. I accept this. Embrace it even. If you don’t… your loss. There are a lot of amazing people out there who might not necessarily fit your mold of acceptable or normal. People you’ll never get the opportunity to meet. And if you’re okay with that… cool. Do you. To me, though, life’s far too short for that shit.

I’ll be over here meeting all sorts of different, amazing people having a blast, gasping for air, worshipping goddesses as they merely let gravity do its thing.

By the way, that’s one of the most fascinating things about squashing for me. Gravity. A heavy woman can just sit there in pure relaxation. She’s not exerting any effort whatsoever. But if you find yourself under her… you will be in the fight of your life just to survive. That dichotomy is magic to me.

At the end of the day, squashing is merely a platform to experience what weight means to me. I’m not asking you to accept it. Or to even consider it. I’m simply telling one little facet of my story. And I’m urging you to let down your guard and embrace your own uniqueness.

And if you’re a woman who doesn’t fit the restrictive mold of beauty in our culture, have faith. Not all guys are into it. Women of substance come in many shapes and forms. But in almost all cases, the substance runs deep… from the outside in. And if you ever want to feel what it’s like to be worshiped like this… where your physicality is not only embraced but adored, admired and respected… consider at least trying squashing. Look past the weirdness of it. Embrace it as an adventure. Something to try at least once. Find a trustworthy person to experience it with and enjoy.

Maybe you’ve been told your entire life that you’re “too big for this,” or “too big for that.” I’m not here to tell you, once and for all, that you’re not big enough. That everyone else was wrong. As I said at the very beginning of this story… your body is your body. Your weight is a personal choice and I support you regardless of what the scale says. But here to tell you that weight isn’t something to fear. It’s not something to hide. It’s part of your unique offering to the world… inside and out. To some, it doesn’t matter. To others, it’s meaningful beyond words. If you wish to explore this world of weight play, please visit our model inquiry page.

Oh, and if you’re reading this and you’re someone who has worked with FWP, please comment below. I’d love to chat about the deeper meaning of all of this if you’re so inclined. Or, at a minimum, share your experiences so that other newcomers might feel confident and comfortable exploring this adventure themselves. 


Flatly Yours,

Owner and Operator of Full Weight Productions

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